i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
