i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize