I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
