Say something about gay babies.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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