so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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