Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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