you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
