hotel room ftw
someone threw a dead crab at me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
