do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
