it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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