Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you have to choose: penises or morals?

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(219): View more from Indiana

ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...

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(936): View more from Texas

Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

(816): View more from Missouri

You're so demanding.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...

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(512): View more from Texas

Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.

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