Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
