And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
