I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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