I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
