I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
