he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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