I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
