just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
