4 words: hood of his car
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
