I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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