Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize