coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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