just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
