Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
