Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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