I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
