Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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