So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize