Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
