I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
