He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
