don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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