i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
