Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
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