i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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