he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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