i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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