think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
