I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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