I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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