So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
