Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The ass gains better be worth it
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