so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
