There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
