ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
