just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
