Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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