She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
