I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
