I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
