She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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