LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
