In the future we'll all be gay
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
