good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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