i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize