bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
