who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
